march 31, 2005
fight club
In the corner to our left we have upbeat, sunny Pippa and to the right her depressed, loner alter-ego (we'll call her Heather). Pippa has regularly held off Heather's attacks with success, she's an excellent defensive fighter, but we've noticed a pattern over their bouts, as soon as Heather has successfully swung and hit, Pippa loses confidence and is down for the count.
I suppose that what I've written above is the best way I have to describe how I am when faced by depression. I can normally fight it off because I am, by nature, a happy person. But it feels that if I let my guard down, if I stop being happy Pippa, if something else distracts me for more than a day... Well then, I'm suddenly at a loss and unable to do anything to resist.
So anyway, that's where I am at the moment. Kind of overwhelmed.
Any motivation I had has run off and hidden itself somewhere. At work I am overwhelmed with boredom and feel that everything I do is futile. When I'm at home I feel bored once again. So I clean up. Watch some more bad TV.
I suppose the best thing that's come out of this, apart from me realising how I'm feeling, is that I am cleaning and keeping things tidy.
Though I probably wouldn't be so tidy if it weren't for the ants.
I get so irritated by the hordes of ants which invade the kitchen for even a hint of a crumb. Normally, the ants I've been faced with, have been unable to resist the lure of the sickly sweetness of AntRid, but I think that these are genetically superior ants which aren't affected by the borax. I'll place antrid near the crack in the wall they're emerging from, but they don't seem to go anywhere near it.
I used to hate the way that some would escape the cloth wiping at them, and how the escapees would crawl all over my arm, but now I don't care, I just need to get rid of them. So I seem to be continuously wiping and washing up and keeping an eagle eye on the benches and cat food areas.
Damnit! I might not be happy, but I will win the fight against those damn ants.
pipstar @ 04:22 PM | link | Comments: *
march 28, 2005
a spoonful of sugar [soap]
I don't know when it happened, but I think that I'm a grown up now.
Not to the extent of becoming incredibly boring and effectively dead, but I've noticed a distinct change. I look older, not old mind you - my face just seems to have changed - and I place great delight and importance in cleaning up and having a tidy house.
I'm doing the stuff that I've always taken for granted. I have never had to buy garden hose before. It's always been there, as if by magic.
The practicalities of life? I've realised that you have to get the most satisfaction out of doing them properly, or they'll never get done at all: by you, housemates or magic pixies.
Let's just be clear. I'm not claiming that I actually do have a super clean or tidy house. But at least once a week I get very motivated and do a proper organise.
And today I was so motivated (read: bored and kinda depressed) that I did an autumn clean because I knew that never again would Fiona and I get organised enough to do it together. This was the clean that you put off because once you start you shouldn't really stop.
I wiped surfaces with such vigour and purpose that I almost yelped with excitement as significant amounts of horrible, cat hair infested grossness were removed from places I wouldn't normally think to clean such as the underside of stairs.
I vacuumed underneath the lino and swept outside the house and trimmed the plants near the doorway. I washed the floor and when I was cleaning the bathroom I discovered crannies which may have never been cleaned by previous tenants.
Add this cleaning frenzy to my visit to the hardware store yesterday (on Easter weekend? Crazy I know...) where I felt absolute contentment as I bought plants and garden hose and extension cords. You can begin to see that I'm starting to negotiate a world which I once thought of as simultaneously boring and dangerous.
But please don't think that I've lost sense of what is actually fun. Buying plants is always excellent, so the trip to Bunnings wasn't completely boring. I bought a multi coloured cordeline, some other kind of pretty indoor plant and ranunculus and grape hyacinth bulbs. Now that the weather is going to be getting cooler I'm going to plant some more stuff and hopefully take photos or draw the results.
This weekend I've also had dinner with Aidan, learnt two absolutely disgusting stories that I could only ever recount in person, been to an egg-painting party, two Easter Egg hunts (one with participation certificates, the other was more of an Easter picnic), a 7" launch and now a farewell picnic for Ellie.
Being fabulous and organised is so completely exhausting... But it's fun, you should try it.
pipstar @ 04:14 PM | link | Comments:
march 22, 2005
proof.
After all the rumours, here's proof that IKEA is finally coming to town.
next year.
I'm not sure if I'll still be in Adelaide. But it's good to know that if I go away, when I come back there'll be an Ikea waiting.
pipstar @ 10:14 AM | link | Comments:
march 21, 2005
104 words
You know how i was "away" for a while? Well, we had fun for a while, but Boris and I have decided to go our separate ways.
Which is good.
I'm working on 100 words this month, and anything that I have had to say has largely been devoted to getting those pieces written.
But I can tell you that I'm working on a scarf using some hand spun and dyed wool which I bought in Bellingen just before I moved back to Adelaide. It's red and pink and orange and chunky. Because I'm knitting it in moss stitch it looks like tweed fabric.
pipstar @ 04:56 PM | link | Comments:
march 02, 2005
invincible
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