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Inspired by some stationery I bought the other day, I grew a new flower in my garden (the leaf is inspired by the peace lily on my desk).

In Rome I picked some leaves from a gum tree and they’ve also been added to the garden, along with Rivers the turtle replica, a butterfly, a snail and some ladybirds which were all part of Sarah’s lovely birthday package. I also bought a grasshopper made from a palm leaf in Italy, and he keeps on jumping from plant to plant.

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I must say, it is so nice having furniture again. Even if half of my room still remains in chaos (hence no photos yet) it feels much more like a place to live in rather than a cell I retire to at night. My back feels better as a result of using a desk again and I’m loving my futon for the firm sleeping surface and its versatility as a couch and a bed.

The futon of course means that I now have a spare mattress available for friends who miss the last bus home, and from tomorrow, Pete H will be sharing my room on and off over the next month or so. Of course, if you happen to visit Helsinki, I would more than love to have visitors.

As you may have guessed, visiting from Australia does come at a price. Stubby brought over half of my life including my laptop, a coat, a birthday present from my mum and stepdad, herbal anti-depressants, Vegemite and Frankie magazine. Pete got off lightly and only had to bring over my snowboarding pants, a huge jar of peanut butter (I now know why Ellie missed it so much) and two packets of Tim Tams.

Of course, if Stubby had been bringing my stuff over to America, he could have got in trouble for importing a restricted substance. I kid you not, Vegemite has been banned in the US.

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The slump of the last few weeks is beginning to be slowly exited (as demonstrated by the rather joyful flower). The emails of friends ignored are slowly being addressed, there are even more lovely people to hang out with, a job application (in Helsinki) submitted and 6.30 am yoga classes to wake up for next week. And at the end of November I’ll be heading off for a week in Amsterdam and Brussels visiting James and my old travel buddy from Turkey, Simon.

I hate to admit this, but I’ve been in Finland for over four months now and I’ve not gone further north than Tampere (and even that was a whirlwind visit to pick Professor Wang up from the airport). This is a situation that will be remedied eventually.

Of course, now that Summer has been and gone and Autumn is speeding past, it’s going to be cold up North. Maybe I’ll just go visit another summer sometime and not end up working throughout all the good weather and summer fun. Then again, Pete is coming to stay in Helsinki for an indefinite period of time and I’m guessing that he’ll motivate me to go off and look at more of Finland, at least from an architectural standpoint.

Oh the perils of getting a job as easily as I did. It kind of put the post-heartbreak sightseeing on hold.

I have seen more drunk men with major injuries passed out over the last four months than ever before in my life. But I am yet to see elk / moose, bears, lapland, Santa Claus, a summer cottage, the Finnish Archipelego or the Aurora Borealis.
Which brings me quite neatly to my next theme. Every night, as I go to sleep, I’m listening to (aka Northern Lights) by Philip Pullman. I read the His Dark Materials trilogy about two years ago and it promptly became one of my favourite and most heartbreaking reading experiences ever. I’ve never really listened to audiobooks before, but I chose to do so for my second encounter with the trilogy as it’s letting me savour the story.

Oh gosh, it is so lovely to think about Lyra and her daemon Pantalaimon again. To imagine Iorek Byrnison, the armoured bear loping across the frozen north, to be scared at the thought of Mrs Coulter…  At the same time it’s hard to avoid the thought of the end of the trilogy and the hours that I cried on the front step of the Queens Court stable house.
If you’re in need of something to read, go find Northern Lights and give it a go.  I doubt you’ll be disappointed.

After 6 weeks of sleeping, reading, writing and typing on a foam mattress borrowed from my flatmates, I finally went to Ikea and bought some furniture. Furniture and the assorted lights, candles, kettles and soft furnishings which attack you while you’re walking through the warehouse section.

Yep, I spent just under 300€, which feels like a huge commitment for someone who accidentally started living in Helsinki, but which isn’t that much when you consider that I easily spent 150€ on a coat whilst in Rome and have been looking at 100€ boots, presuming that the more expensive they are, the warmer one’s feet.

And I did get a futon, a chair, a desk, fairy lights, a vase, a lamp, candles, an octopus shaped sock / knicker drying device, a quilt, pillow, cushions, cushion covers, rag rug, wok, kettle and possibly some other things I’m forgetting. Oh yeah, shot glasses and a lamp bought as thankyou for Jess who borrowed her Mum’s Volvo station wagon and drove myself and Jade across Helsinki and Espoo for the evening.

So now I’m able to type with reasonably correct posture and it will be way easier to use the graphics tablet that Stubby hauled across the world for me a couple of months ago, so hopefully I’ll get a redesign (and webdesign for other people) done in the near future.

Inspired by Ikea Hacker, I am going to do my best to modify my purchases, starting with the beautiful teal quilt and pillow that now grace my bed. When Banky sent a glorious parcel of goodness to me the other week it was wrapped up in a red ribbon which looks rather spiffy against the teal. Immediately discarded decoration ideas were hearts and AIDS awareness ribbons. Robins or buttons might get a look in.

I’m not going to post a photo of my proper, ohgoshiactuallyamlivinginhelsinki room just yet as it is half in chaos, but here’s an illustration of the coat I bought in Rome on top of the coat’s fabric.

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This picture is for Stubby. For a while we were hanging out on Sundays eating hot chips. So today, being Sunday, I missed having Stubby to hang out with.

In lieu of his company I bought some oven fries and cooked them up. I think that next Sunday I’ll go to Brussels, because I need to have to have better chips than those available in Finland.

[note: the yellow fabric is 6€ of gorgeousness bought from the UFF yesterday]

I just got home from seeing Ninetynine play.  Over the past 6 years or so, I’ve seen a number of their shows in both Melbourne and Adelaide.  Tonight of course, marked the first time that I’d seen them play outside of Australia.

And gee, it was weird.  The set mainly consisted of songs I’d seen them play a number of times before.  Cameron’s hair was still huge, he still drummed with windmill arms.  Laura is still tiny and still impresses me with all the things she does so fiercely and calmly.  Everything was the same, Semifinal felt a bit like The Jade Monkey but with black walls instead of green.

But there wasn’t Sarah, there wasn’t Aliese, there wasn’t Matt Hills mixing up the back of the room.  All the people who I would have expected to see if I was back in Australia weren’t there.  I miss them.

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I’m having a bit of a low spell at the moment.  Actually, since the end of August (when Stubby visited, I had a major conflict with someone I have to spend a lot of time with, Dan and I fell even further apart, I moved house and I started working during the day) things have been low.  I’ve been very unmotivated.  My flat is now conveniently close to work, but that also means that when I’m not at work, it’s been too easy to hang out at the bar and drink 2€ beers rather than going home and writing or painting.

I stopped writing everyday.  Having removed that practise from my life, I now know how important and therapeutic it was.  I’d like to start again, but I’m scared.  I discovered a lot when I was writing out my Morning Pages, I was motivated to do a lot too. I’m scared of what I’ll discover and do if I start again.

Too much work.  Not enough play (of the creative variety).  It makes me dull.

I tell myself that I need a table and a chair and a bed.  Before getting my laptop I told myself I needed my computer again.  With proper sleep and a stable work surface that isn’t my floor, will I actually be more likely to do anything?

Six weeks of hunching over on the ground is enough.  Tomorrow I shall surrender to the gods of Grankulla and Vika Lilleby at Valhalla Ikea.

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photos from my rome trip are online too.

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photos from sunday are online

that I am currently going through a phase of blushing and avoiding talking for fear of making a fool of myself around a certain young man who is probably quite unsuitable .  It distracts me from being too upset at the lack of any recognition of my birthday from a certain young man who broke my heart at the start of summer.

On Sunday (technically Monday morning), after drinking many birthday cocktails and salmiakki shots (oh jeepers, what a mistake that salmiakki was), after vomiting up the aforementioned cocktails and salmiakki shots (efficiently containing the vomit in the toilet bowl), well, I cried.  It was a short but extremely loud and efficient crying session.

Topics thought about whilst sobbing my heart out include:

• Fuck! A while ago I really had thought that I was going to celebrate this birthday and future ones with him.
• Oh no, I’m 27, single, and living in Helsinki.
• Helsinki? (I’m still a bit surprised by that one)
• 27?!  When I was 18 I said that I wanted to have kids at 27.
• Gee, how incredibly crappy the last year has mostly been.
• Thank God it’s over now. I have survived.

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i got back from rome yesterday. pete and i had a lot of fun and walked and walked and walked. i ate a lot of amazing pizza, saw fiats, alfa romeos and scooters, drank red wine on ancient monuments and bought a new coat.

i have to admit that i’m actually glad to be back in helsinki, which is home right now.

the leaves have begun to really change colour and there’s an excellent chill in the air.

more photos to come…