Pippa Buchanan - Photo by Mark Niehus

“Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” -Helen Keller

Hi, I'm Pippa, an Australian living in Berlin, Germany.
I'm passionate about learning, particularly lifelong and self-organised learning styles. I currently work as an educator and developer of learning related technologies.
I make things such as clothes and at least one small boat and cook, eat and read. I like stories. I also like maps, hot cups of tea with milk, Arnott's Western Australian gingernut biscuits, well written songs and plants.

the end

I’ve tried and everytime I talk to him or write to him I fuck up. And I apologise and I fuck up again. Obviously I’m bitter and mentally unstable and a fucking bitch. Or I could just be someone who was once very much in love and who doesn’t know how to talk to that person anymore.

I don’t behave like this with anyone else. So I presume that it’s not a psychological thing.

Goodluck to you ex-boyfriend, in what seems to be your new relationship. I may have started having sex again and I’m sorry about the way I told you, sorry about everything I’ve ever said to you. But there’s no way that I’d disrespect what we had by getting emotionally involved with someone just yet. That mate of yours, if he’s the guy I think he is, waited a wee bit longer before he had the strength to get into a relationship again. Goodluck and goodbye.

So, friends. Please don’t mention his name to me anymore. I’d delete the photos and the blog posts and the emails, but that would wipe history. And sadly the technology from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind does not exist to clean my mind.

The now changes though. The email contacts are going. The phone numbers. The weblinks and the contacts are going too.

14 Responses to “the end”

  1. Jeimz says:

    You sound so hurt.

    I know the days are long in Finland, but I hope things feel better tomorrow when it comes.

  2. Katie says:

    Hugs Pippa. I’ve been through the same thing this year myself.

    http://lost.net.au/?p=278
    http://lost.net.au/?p=290

    You have been my inspiration and my role model this year. Not to mention other years. I have an extensive knee high sock collection that I own now, thanks to you! I always admired your creativity and sense of style at Uni!

  3. leighstardust says:

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    love you lots pip.

  4. Shelley says:

    You are a wonderful person miss pip. Take that thought with you as you begin anew. xxxxxxxxxxx love you too.

  5. Jo says:

    Take care of yourself Pip and remember we all love you.

  6. carly says:

    “I’ve tried and everytime I talk to him or write to him I fuck up. And I apologise and I fuck up again. Obviously I’m bitter and mentally unstable and a fucking bitch. Or I could just be someone who was once very much in love and who doesn’t know how to talk to that person anymore.”

    hi pippa, im carly. i have an ex and i tried and everytime i talk to him or write to him I fuck up. And I apologise and I fuck up again. Obviously I’m bitter and mentally unstable and a fucking bitch. Or I could just be someone who was once very much in love and who doesn’t know how to talk to that person anymore. i think you and me would get along quite well.

    i read his (not my his, your his) blog and i got a tad frowny. i know you both cant hide your lives from each other, and i guess by the sounds of it you knew before he blogged, but it still made me feel hurt on your behalf by reading it.

    i hope its sunshiney in finland, that theres a cool breeze and many things to photograph
    xxxx

  7. guest says:

    http://www.triplejunearthed.com/
    Music helps. Australian music helps the best

  8. stubby says:

    You are a legend and i cant stop upgrading you x

  9. brian says:

    oww. this post hurts, and i can understand that sometimes communication is like a chinese dragon trap (as seen on Big Trouble in Little china). A breakup is always traumatic, even if it is for the best, there is always an edge of bitterness, there is sometimes a need to discover what was lost in the fire, but it dosen’t always need to be strraight away. Sometimes you can be friends, sometimes you are lucky, other times, its best to have no contact.
    big hugs
    brian

  10. lanor says:

    I am so glad that so many people could find the right things or at least something to say when I could do was be terribly sad and teary as I read this and the connecting posts elsewhere, and then runaway to think about it. But I’ve been thinking of you since last night – all day and wishing that there really was something that you could send that would reproduce a hug from across the ether. Maybe a letter and a mix CD that should arrive in the next few days will be something on the way to that. hugs, pips.

  11. Kasia says:

    Thinking of you.

  12. brother dan says:

    be chipper pippa,
    welcome to rock bottom (also known as craptown)…
    It does have the following benefits:
    1. You will never feel worse than you do now. Next time something like this happens you will know that you can overcome it.
    2. It gives your life perspective.
    3. Most people never have the opportunity to experience the love you once had, however fleeting.
    4. Learn to trust your friends, you have more than you think.

  13. Terry says:

    Dear Pip,
    thinking of you too and understanding the pain and anger.

    love
    terry

  14. Jade says:

    Hey pipari,
    Just wanted to say that I’m here for you and I love you. Hope that you can come to Vaasa soon so we can talk about this and all things possible and I can bake something for you that hopefully will make you feel better for a while. We can also burn candles and drink lots of tea and go to walks by the sea. Eventually the pain will be no more.

    Love you.