A LEAN, GREEN, PROCRASTINATION MACHINE

 

may 24, 2001

hmmmm. it's my last

hmmmm. it's my last day or so at Headroom, where I've been working for the last couple of months.

it's kinda weird. this job pays way less than the sleep centre, i do menial administrative / site update work, yet i'm going to miss it a lot. chris and beajaye are great and funny, i get to talk about buffy and read the women's weekly, and o'connell st is a 2 minute walk away.
and i'm giving it up for a job with much greater pay, greater creativity, more responsibility. but i'm also going to be working in a completely disorganised arrangement with not much security, not enough computers for everyone in the office, [currently] conflicting personalities and a very relaxed attitude.

so i'm kinda nervous.

i just want balance at the sleep lab:
enough order to know when i have to have things done by, so that i can organise the rest of my life and work out when i can have fun. but enough relaxation so that i don't stress and become the mega bitch my housemates fear.
a computer so i can do the work, so that i can say i've earned a new computer. (catch 22?)
certain persons to be organised enough so that we can rely on them when we need information or work from them.
a boss who tells us what he needs from us so that we can actually work towards a less vague product concept. but a boss who respects our intelligence, skills and creativity.

guess what. i'm a libran.

:::...

i'm trying to learn how to effectively deal with stress. because it bubbles up into mega bitch and makes life hard for my housemates, and then harder for me as i've got house stress to deal with.

the other day, with work conflict issues, what did i say to aidan on saturday and the worst menstrual period i've had in a while all piling in on top of me, i was condescending to my housemates. disrespectful of their intelligence.

and it just added to issues they've been having with me.

so chris spoke to me about it. for a bit.
and then the next night mykl spoke to me about it. and i was really stressed about housemate issues by then. so that even though he asked me to be calm i couldn't be. and i threw a temper tantrum and kicked the glass coffee table, but i didn't break it.

and then after a major bawl (which i hadn't had for a while) i went over to aidan's and he was supportive. and we decided that i've been changing a lot over the last six months and that causes a lot of stress and i need to catch up somehow and learn to deal with:

even though chris, mykl and michelle don't do anything bad and the house is always neat and people pay bills on timish, i still get stressed by them.

in the end, the only thing that aidan and i could think of to improve the situation, was for us to have meetings. that way it'll seem more formal and less like i'm nagging, and if people say they're going to do something (and that includes me), then they should do it.

but over the past two days i have been trying to be nice and pleasant and good. it's hard, but it's kinda working.

:::...

i just realised that i've had the most terrible, terrible spelling error ever on my flash menu up the top. sorry. it was really bad and stupid....


pipstar @ 04:33 PM | link | Comments:

may 21, 2001

fuck. i'm getting into

fuck.
i'm getting into the habit [well, two times now] of getting very very messily inebriated and then spilling my guts to aidan. and since this second episode was last night at the medball, i've been thinking about it in between sleep, homemade tomato soup, looking for alibrandi and a very tasty steak. and even during those things. a bit.

the particular problem with last night's performance is that i can remember what i spoke about to karah, but then when aidan came to support me in my time of i-drank-way-too-much-way-too-quickly, i spoke to him and i can't really remember what i spoke about. and i have a sneaking suspicion that it was similar to what i said to karah. which is ok. but still kinda fucked.

because:


even though i said scaryish stuff, i do feel ok about it. it's stuff i've been thinking about. feelings which have happened to me. it's not necessarily stuff that i want or am ready for.
aidan has never acted afraid or condescendingly or standoffish in relation to this stuff. just thoughtful.
which is cool. it's probably the best way he could act. it implies respect of my feelings. and come what may, that's the way that i'll act towards him.


:::...
but. in more fun related stuff.

i wore a black satin assymetrical dress with a dark orange sash and i also had my hair cut assymetrically. and i bought new shoes! betts and betts were having a 2nd pair half price sale so i bought a pair of brown sandra miller cowboy boots and a pair of sexy red heels [also sandra miller]. [i'll put a photo up soon]

and i found out that the subject objects and algorithms is available externally! which means that hopefully i'll be able to do four subjects this semester and get closer to eventually finishing my degree.


pipstar @ 01:58 AM | link | Comments:

may 08, 2001

sore throat. yik. lately

sore throat. yik.

lately i have been working hard. going to uni. procrastinating some things. cleaning up my room. acquiring digital cameras to take photos of dismembered pigs. making a compost bin. eating poorly. living poorly.

but this week i'll do things slightly differently. i'll do uni work. party hard. clean up my computer room. get paid so i can eat and live richly!


pipstar @ 09:21 AM | link | Comments: