Fighting Tiger

Yesterday I was the angriest and crankiest I’ve been in recent memory.

Seriously, it’s fortunate that I live alone otherwise I’d probably be up for manslaughter charges as a result of me destroying anyone who crossed my path earlier in the day.

For a young woman who is trying to increase the amount of happiness and joy in her daily life and making an attempt to spread positive feelings to the world at large - yesterday did not bring a good mental space at all.

You know what, I’m beginning to [re]learn that holding back from discussing issues for the sake of avoiding potential conflict is not always a good thing - even if it maintains a sense of order at the time. Those bits of frustration with the world at large and people nearby just build up and get stored away around one’s shoulders - kind of like the hump on a camel’s back. Of course - a camel’s hump has a positive moisture and fat storage purpose - but still, the irritation storage hump looks just as ungainly.

Oh! I admit that there was a whole lot more at work in yesterday’s hideousness than just held back conflict, boys of course, too much work lately and not enough sleep or good things like gardening and creating. I hold myself to some ridiculously stupid standards. And there’s always there’s the frustration that ‘most everyone else in the world is letting things get more fucked up and the few who make the effort are going to be left in the rubble with nothing to show for their lives. All of those things go into humps of their own - and not the sexy lady lump kind.

Eventually I guess you just have days when there’s too much stuff that you’re carrying around - and you just have to give into the weight and sleep the day away.

Luckily, [as this metaphor is getting kind of tired] - some of the particular straws that broke The Camel of Peace and Serenity’s back yesterday have been picked up and swept away. And you know what - The Camel of Peace and Serenity ultimately shouldn’t be burdened with a hump of negativeness, if it’s going to stockpile anything, it’s going to stockpile more goodness.