fear of commitment

by Pippa ~ December 3rd, 2006. Filed under: mental health.

I’ve realised that I have so many ideas and that I lack the motivation and faith in my abilities to invest the required time, money, effort and patience to bring any of them to reality. I’m afraid that by focusing on one skill or idea for too long that I might make a mistake and not follow a path that could theoretically be more successful.

It’s not just the list from the other day, I have lists and pages and sketches and links scattered all over the place and littering my brain. Maybe I should start actually Getting Things Done so that even some little things become reality?

As I have a shift to get ready for, today I’m going to blame work for all my confusion and inaction. Though quite frankly, working in the bar is not a problem apart from the hours it drains away.

To distract you, here is an amusing meme / playlist (via Ampersand Duck) that I worked on whilst writing a letter to Aliese the other day.

RANDOM MUSIC THINGY

1.Open your music library.
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the ‘next’ button.
6. Don’t lie.

Opening credits: Reseda Casino - Shivaree
Waking up: Sock it To Me - Judy Carne
First day of High School: Rebel Rebel - Seu Jorge
Falling in love: Motion Picture Soundtrack - Radiohead
Fight song: Ziggy Stardust - Seu Jorge
Breaking up: We Can Work It Out - Stevie Wonder
Prom: Fly - Nick Drake
Life: Artificial Feeling For Mobile Robots - Superscience
Mental breakdown: The Process - Ninety Nine
Driving: Insistor - Tapes ‘n’ Tapes
Flashback: Sugar Water - Her Space Holiday
Getting back together: Blue Turning Gray - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Wedding: Winterlong - The Pixies
Birth of child: Leslie Anne Levine - The Decemberists
Final battle: Why Must God Punish Me - Lovage
End credits: Amazon - M.I.A.

Which proves that if you’re looking for synchronicity you’re more likely to find it, there were “messages” in everyone of those songs. I’d like to point out that the songs that came up for Breaking Up, Mental Breakdown, Flashback and Getting Back Together were all incredibly appropriate. And Leslie Anne Levine for Birth of Child was quite frankly, very spooky and hopefully not prophetic at all.

[My IPhoto install is acting slowly, so photos and relevant commentary on Amsterdam and Brussels will have to wait. ]

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2 Responses to fear of commitment

  1. Kathy
    December 5th, 2006 at 4:02 am

    Hey Pippa

    So many ideas do get overwhelming, pick one and do it, probably a short one that you can achieve easily, and then the next - you will get a good feeling of accomplishment which will be positive for others

    In a way it is a bit like a bookshelf of cookbooks and recipes and you keep doing the same old regulars. You have to be a bit assertive to yourself.

  2. Simon
    December 11th, 2006 at 6:52 am

    greetings from canada,

    stumbled upon your blog somehow.

    anyway, good idea with the list of music! i completely agree with the Tapes N Tapes song :)
    -SB